Walks in to the room, feels like a big balloon

I'd like to throttle Oprah

The woman is a marvel. She is worth billions. She wears so many hats it's insane. She has this incredible power to change lives just by mentioning a person's product, book, etc. It's a phenomenon.

I admire many things about her. If I ever write the book I keep toying with in my head, part of me plans to send her a copy in the hopes that she'll love it and make it a New York Times bestseller.

I still want to throttle her though.

Why? If I see the commercial in which she brags that she has manged to lose 26 pounds by eating bread every day thanks to Weight Watchers one more time, I will quite possibly lose what is left of my mind.

No matter what she has accomplished in her life thus far, Oprah is still most notable for her weight. Or that is what the media will have you believe, thanks to the amount of news stories her latest diet has spawned.

It boils my blood that weight loss is still seen as this huge accomplishment.

Shonda Rhimes has built herself a TV empire. She is a the successful creator and head writer of three prime time TV series.

However, she has lost 100 plus pounds and deserves more praise for that rather than all the other things she's accomplished.

Barbie is making headlines because the famed plastic doll is now available in more variety. You can buy a plump Barbie now. You can buy a tall Barbie now. You can by a petite Barbie now. I wonder why you can't buy a Barbie that is tall and plump or short and plump, but I guess "progress" is "progress".

Society is just too obsessed with weight.

As someone who has struggled with her weight the majority of her life, I can tell you that in my case, Barbie did not ruin my self esteem. Or cause me to have unrealistic expectations on how I should look. It's a damn doll. I also knew that should I ever have children. they would not pop out looking like Cabbage Patch Kids, but I digress.

I can tell you that as an adult in my late thirties, it is insulting for me to see so many magazine covers dedicated to the latest fad diet, celebrities who have lost weight, people who have lost weight with "just" diet and exercise. To be subjected to news stories proclaiming that science has unlocked the secret to weight loss. Or the reason behind weight gain.

For me, it has never been that big of a mystery why I became overweight.

I ate too much. I would rather read than exercise. Science does not need to study me to unlock the mystery.

Why did diets never work for me? I never wanted to address why I ate.

I wasn't eating because I was hungry.

I'd wager the reason that Oprah keeps needing to seek out new diets is not because of her love of bread. I bet Oprah isn't just eating because of hunger.

And as someone who struggles with food addiction and emotional eating, I'd rather hear her talk about that than her new found love of Weight Watchers. And in my experience with Weight Watchers, it caters to food addicts and emotional eaters, as it was possible for me to lose over 60 pounds following Weight Watchers while binge eating. I just had to stick to my points.

I started this blog for one big reason. I wanted to be honest about life post weight loss surgery, as while I was preparing for my gastric sleeve, I grew disgusted with the memoirs I read of folks who had had weight loss surgery. I felt there was a lack of honest information out there.

It evolved beyond that, as part of my truth is the fact that my food addiction and emotional eating led me to the operating table on March 2, 2015.

And it angers me that people who talk about their struggles with weight, particularly celebrities, are seemingly afraid to be honest.

Yes, it is embarrassing to admit that I struggle with emotional eating. That I am recovering from food addiction. That I struggle with my desire to gorge myself on warm brownies, queso dip and tortilla chips and fried chicken when I am having a bad day. That I still pause longingly by the case of cakes in the bakery area at Publix, remembering just how sweet the taste of their buttercream icing is. That I just want to eat a freaking piece of pizza again. That instead of doing the hard work of discussing my feelings and processing emotions that I'd rather numb myself with food some days.

And maybe I want to throttle Oprah just because she claims to put it all out there, but I sense she's hiding something.

And yes, there are people out there who are overweight because of medical reasons. Part of my 120 pound weight gain was thanks to insulin.

However, I just want there to be no stigma attached to food addiction and emotional eating. Yes, people don't understand it. But there are lots of things out there in the world that people are open about that I don't understand. Attraction to Justin Bieber. Spending $800 on zebra print jeggings. And so on.

And celebrities are open about drug addiction. HIV status. Cheating on significant others. Infertility.

But not about downing a pint of Ben and Jerry's because no one wanted to go to the prom with you. Or eating a family dinner of Bojangles fried chicken on your own because you just feel so damn lonely you don't know what else to do but eat.

And it needs to be said. People need to know they are not alone.

So, that is why I choose to be open.

I feel called to make this my mission in life. I have no idea how to accomplish it, but if one person reads this and reaches out to me to tell me that they struggle with emotional eating, then all of this bleeding on the page is worth it.

If by some chance Oprah herself reads this and contacts me, well, stranger things have happened.

And to be honest, losing weight isn't the hard part. it's keeping it off. Even for those of us who have had weight loss surgery.

I just hope that all of the hard work I have done, the hard work I continue to do and my faith in the Lord keeps me from backsliding, as that is what has gotten me this far in my journey.

And maybe Oprah will give me a call and we can have ourselves a nice chat about why we eat.

I, who once claimed to be an atheist, have been reformed. I found Jesus again. Oprah may finally admit why she eats. Again, things I once thought to be less likely have occurred in my lifetime.