The hysteria in the media surrounding the price hike of the epi-pen has brought up a lot of feelings for me
That is probably not something you were expecting to read in one of my blog posts, ranking right up there with the moment a male patron at work told me I looked sexy as I killed a wasp that had landed on one of our nonfiction shelves. You just never know what will come out of some people's mouths, minds, etc
The anger and outrage I am reading from news stories and people's commentary on social media has me livid for one simple reason: this price gouging, the sheer expense of life saving medications without health insurance, it's nothing new
I am a diabetic. When I was first diagnosed, I had no health insurance. I could not afford my medications. I could not afford the test strips I needed. To make matters worse, and I do NOT recommend what I did, when I did get a job with health insurance, the pre-existing conditions clause meant that I still would have to pay for all of my diabetic supplies and medications out of pocket.
So, I went almost a year without taking any type of medication for my diabetes, trying to control through diet and exercise alone. When I did finally go to a doctor, I allowed myself to get "diagnosed" with diabetes again so my insurance would pay for what I needed to save my life.
Praise the Lord that that year did not cause me any permanent damage
However, even with insurance, not all of my diabetes paraphernalia was covered. Those little jars of test strips that I needed to monitor my blood sugar, that I needed to use to show a pattern of what the medications I was taking were doing to control my disease, they were not covered. And do you want to know what those things cost? A box of 50 was over $100.
Many times I had to make the decision of whether I wanted to pay my bills or buy test strips.
I know I am lucky to have health insurance now that finally covers a portion of my diabetic supplies and makes the drugs I need to control my disease somewhat affordable. The one prescription I take weekly, without insurance, is over $700.
And just like with the epi-pen, there are no generic alternatives. There really are no other alternatives. Insulin is not cheap either. Nothing about being diabetic is cheap. I get a free glucometer from my endocrinologist when my insurance tells me that they will no longer pay for the brand of test strips I have been using and have to switch to a different brand.
However, I don't see anything protesting how unfair the pricing of diabetic medication and supplies is. How unaffordable it is. And unlike the epi-pen, you don't have it on hand as a precautionary measure. You have to have it. Daily. Multiple times a day.
Even though the days where I was uninsured are hopefully in my past, it still doesn't mean that I can throw all of my money at the pharmacy for my life saving medications and supplies and not feel panic over the amount I just spent.
And before I turn this into one long rant over just how crappy health care is in the United States, just how crappy it is that people have to make the choice over groceries or prescriptions, the choice between saving their life or paying the bills, none of this is right. The price hike of the epi-pen is insane. The cost of having chronic, life threatening conditions and diseases is insane. Something needs to be done.
And as I get overly irritated by the unfairness of this, I start reflecting on how other things that should not be tolerated are widely accepted.
Fat shaming
Bullying
Asking women over the age of 30 what's wrong with them if they are single. Assuming that women over 30 that are single are gay. or defective because they aren't partnered up
Criticizing those of us who are childfree by choice. Asking why someone does not have children
The list goes on
I have been asked why I was fat. I have been criticized for having weight loss surgery. I have been told I took the easy way out.
I have had valid medical complaints overlooked because of my BMI. Instead of those complaints being addressed, I was told that I just needed to lose weight to solve my ills.
Losing weight didn't magically cure the broke bone I've had in my toe for three years now.
Some of those complaints I had when I was close to three hundred pounds still exist. And it's not right that now they're being addressed. No one should not be heard because of how they look. Or how much they weigh.
And yes, losing a hundred pounds has not cured my diabetes. As diabetes is not just a disease for the overweight. I still am diabetic. I will always be diabetic. Thank the Lord when I had my weight loss surgery that all I prayed for when it came to diabetes was better management,as I got what I prayed for.
There are just so many things I see and hear on a daily basis thanks to my job that make me cringe. Blatant racism when a customer comes up to the desk and refuses to be helped by my African American co-workers instead of me. The way customers treat library employees. And so on.
There are just so many things wrong in the world. Getting upset over the price of the epi-pen, getting upset because no one seems to care over how much insulin costs, getting upset because I've been asked again why I'm not married and why I do not have children...getting livid when asked how I lost weight and then being told that I took the easy way out by undergoing major surgery...wanting to sob every time I feel the stabbing pain in my toe thanks to my misdiagnosed and ignored injury...none of this is right
But it's part of my reality
And although I pray multiple times a day, I alone can't pray this away
Prayer makes me handle it better
Prayer gives me grace when my well is tapped out
And although there is so much that can cause me to rage at the world, there is so much that makes me revel in the beauty and kindness that exists
One of the toddlers from the church nursery excitedly calling my name when he sees me at the library, because he loves him some Miss Darcey
My beloved dogs cuddling together on the couch
My brain damaged, people hating cat warming up to my father
A customer at work telling me that they appreciate all I do for their daughter
Buds finally opening on my hibiscus
Watching the sunrise. and the sunset
Going outside at night and seeing the sky glittering with stars
Witnessing a gaggle of geese taking off in synchronized flight
There is so much wonder in the world.
And even with all that causes me anger, I am still in awe of His glory.
And I am so grateful that I am alive to witness it. And I am grateful for those who surround me that I get to witness it alongside
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